(Not) Keepin' It Real

Back in February, I wrote the following in regards to the phony righteous indignation I saw regarding the judge in the custody hearing for Anna Nicole Smith's child:
Well, here's my question. How would those, who now claim moral authority over this judge, know how he was handling the case unless they were watching? Don't tell me they have an overriding interest in family law or that Court TV is required viewing in their households; they were watching for voyeuristic entertainment value. They and virtually all media figures around the country were complicit in the exploitation of the Smith family and those around them over the past 2-3 weeks, gossiping about these lives for their own entertainment or profits. These are the same people who created Judge Judy, People's Court, and all of those other showcases for judge personalities that turned our judicial system into an attempt at entertainment. But none of them claim or take any responsibility, and now want to express indignation about this judge who might be trying to fit into their system.

Well it appears the phenomenon has reared its ugly head again and many notable folks are once again feigning outrage (to say nothing of the ridiculous self-imposed "bans" on Paris Hilton coverage back in June when she got of prison after the 'round the clock play-by-play leading up to her imprisonment):

Many of the candidates running for president have taken their pot-shots at Barack Obama for saying he would act on actionable intelligence if he knew where bin Laden was and the leaders of the harboring nation would not or could not act. The outcry from Hillary Clinton, Mitt Romney, Chris Dodd and so on has been phony because they have all advanced similar ideas in the past and would do exactly the same thing in the situation outlined by Senator Obama, but they attack for the sake of political posturing, calling him naive for saying out loud what they might say in private. We all know they would do the same, so there is no practical sense in them pretending we don't know and pretending to be shocked B.O. would say so publicly. Joe Biden concurred with Mr. Obama, saying of course the U.S. would move in that situation, but no one has said anything about Biden's naivete. Perhaps it's because he's not a "front-runner" and the position is a good and honest one. Or maybe its just that no one heard him; the crowd at that candidate forum was pretty rowdy, so they could've just missed it.

In a press conference today, President Bush called out the Congress for holding too many politically-motivated hearings and not passing "meaningful legislation the American people require of them". Of course, this is phony indignation too because anyone who pays attention knows the president threatens to veto everything this barely Democratic-controlled Congress does manage to pass. And they wouldn't need to hold so many hearings if everything were on the up and up in his administration, the legislative branch wouldn't have to spend so much time doing oversight. But of course, it's easier to block any possibility of real progress and call them out for failing, calling it political expeditionism, as if that isn't exactly what he and his White House have been doing.

And then there's this, excerpted from Fresno Bee columnist Bill McEwen on Barry Bonds and the home run record:
Everybody who's mad about Barry Bonds, everybody who wants an asterisk next to his home-run record because they think he uses steroids, step forward. Raise a hand and repeat after me: "I'm sick of cheaters, and I'm not going to watch another baseball game, much less any movies starring actors with surgically enhanced noses, lips and breasts -- or 4-inch lifts in their shoes." Hey, where did you all go?

Bonds' home-run record is fine with me -- because professional sports is entertainment, and has been since Babe Ruth started making more money than the president...Fans and media covering these games desperately want to believe there's a big difference between the World Series and the movies. Or the Super Bowl and rock concerts. But there isn't. Professional sports and Hollywood are fantasy worlds constructed on a business transaction. Fans pay to see stars perform.

But the business interests behind professional sports go to great lengths to convince us that games matter, records matter and that athletes compete on level playing fields. Film is fake, but we have a great time anyway and have no problem supporting actors with more modified body parts than a customized '32 Ford roadster. Baseball? We want it "pure," whatever that means, and we want to believe it's possible to compare Ruth to Henry Aaron to Bonds.

Good luck.

Ruth played when blacks were banned from baseball. Aaron played a good part of his career at a time when pitchers dominated the game. Bonds is part of an era known for small ballparks, intense weight-training and voodoo elixirs that build biceps bigger than bikini-movie beach balls.

You might as well argue whether Kate Hepburn has a leg up on Meryl Streep or Humphrey Bogart is better than Jack Nicholson. Some people are born with special gifts. Others enhance pedestrian talents with hard work. Or surgical tinkering. Think Morgan Fairchild. Dylan Thomas drank himself to death and wrote raw, lyrical poetry. No one is demanding an asterisk next to "Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night."

But Bonds hits 756 home runs, controversy erupts and it's much ado about nothing. He's an adult, and if he has pumped up his body with magic potions -- running the risk of early death along the way -- that's his business. He will have done what entertainers do. The sports leagues are free to make rules in their futile effort to maintain the cover story that sports is much more than entertainment.

All I ask is that if baseball wipes out Bonds' record, it happily return the ticket money to millions of fans who've watched, cheered and booed him during his nearly 3,000 big-league games. Ineligible for refunds: anyone tummy-tucked, chin-lifted, Lasiked or holding a prescription for certain wildly popular and heavily advertised male-enhancement drugs.

I say, rage on oh occasional defender of what you perceive to be right. Defend, every now and then, integrity and truth and honesty. From time to time stand up against all that is wrong with the world. Speak out against every 3rd evil that befalls mankind. The rest of us need your reliable moral vacillation to guide us through this truly trying, semi-charmed kind of life. I'm hoping for a famous person or two to screw up soon so you can let them pass by unscathed, because I know the next person after them is soooooo gonna get it and I can hardly wait for that.