Happy Tax Day!

Happy if you, like me, make very little money and will get a (relative to a typical paycheck) sizable refund. If you get no refund, I have no sympathy for you. You make more money than I do. And if you're Dick Cheney, make 1.6 million and still get a refund, I hate you and wish you naught but ill will.

The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax.
- Albert Einstein

I shall never use profanity except in discussing house rent and taxes.
- Mark Twain

Of all debts, men are least willing to pay their taxes; what a satire this is on government.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has.
- Will Rogers

Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors... and miss.
- Robert Heinlein

Of course the truth is that the congresspersons are too busy raising campaign money to read the laws they pass. The laws are written by staff tax nerds who can put pretty much any wording they want in there. I bet that if you actually read the entire vastness of the U.S. Tax Code, you'd find at least one sex scene ("'Yes, yes, YES!' moaned Vanessa as Lance, his taut body moist with moisture, again and again depreciated her adjusted gross rate of annualized fiscal debenture").
- Dave Barry

"Friends and neighbors complain that taxes are indeed very heavy, and if those laid on by the government were the only ones we had to pay, we might the more easily discharge them; but we have many others, and much more grievous to some of us. We are taxed twice as much by our idleness, three times as much by our pride, and four times as much by our folly."
- Benjamin Franklin

Did you ever notice that when you put the words "The" and "IRS" together, it spells "THEIRS?"
- Author Unknown