Friday, January 12, 2007

The Onion on Martin Scorsese

The Entitled

"Director Martin Scorsese, long praised as one of the greatest modern American filmmakers for his works Taxi Driver, Raging Bull, The Last Temptation Of Christ, and Goodfellas, is following up his recent string of critically acclaimed triumphs with The Entitled, a three-hour, unabashed plea for a Best Director Oscar that opens nationwide Friday.

"'For 40 years, I've been making pictures. And I've always been fascinated with the struggles a man must endure when people don't appreciate him. People say I'm the best. I didn't say it, they did. I just do my work. But for years they've been talking and you know it. You do. I deserve that award, is all I'm saying.'

""You want feel-good and heartwarming, right?" Scorsese said. "I can do that. Or I can do casual violence with no strings attached. You know I can. What else you want? Kung-fu wire-work? Mentally disabled guy? Boring Robert Redford-style fishing movie? Just tell me what to do, I'll do it. Done. End of story. Give me my Oscar and I'm out of here. Poof."

"Newsweek movie critic David Ansen called The Entitled Scorsese's "best shot" at a directing Oscar since his most recent loss to Clint Eastwood for Million Dollar Baby. "As long as Spielberg doesn't come out with anything, I'd say this is Scorsese's year."

The Onion is my hero

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